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-=- CRickTV -=-
...CRickTV was filmed in front of a dead studio audience...
-=- CRickTV -=-

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Dinner: Meow! I want chicken, I want liver, MeowMix, MeowMix, please deliver!

[eat me!]

CRicky: Meow! (Dinner runs down the hall and does a backflip into a jar of peanut butter) Stupid cat!

Martin: (walking on ceiling) That's my EverQuest! Time for sleepy sleep sleep! (he turns into a puddle of gravy and runs out the door)

Brent: I could use some more fruit in my diet. (Brent is wearing a short sleeve shirt, he starts dancing the monkey)

[good]

Jace: This game is prefect! There is absolutely nothing bad about it! It doesn't cheat at all! (Jace pulls out the game and gives it a nice kiss)

Jake: *BRNT* Pardon me! I think I have a gas problem! I should go see a street doc! (Jake walks out the door in rewind)

Jer: (swims past) Gotta catch that Jello! (he spins in mid air and lands in a chair with green Jello all over him)

P.H.: Crotch rocket! (a highly explosive rocket hits him in the crotch and he is no more)

Brent: This interests me. I think I'll float. (Brent flips over and bounces on his head)

Jake: (climbs out of the TV) All better, time for rewind! (he pushes rewind and Brent starts spinning)

Jer: I look tasty indeed.

[yummy]

Terrence: I believe you did fart, now you eat a hamburger with a side of poo and it makes you yellow.

Phillip: I love not. (he talks so loud the top of his head floats away)

CRicky: I see space outside the window. I think we're almost to Uranus.

CHEMOPAPAIN: The chemopapain quickly takes on a wonderful effect. You feel like a new man. You want to buy flowers and spread them out all over this glorious globe. You'd like to plant some trees and feed the animals. You want to skip through the slum sections of town and shower the huddled masses with silver dollars. You'd like to put all the children on a great big bus and send them to Disneyland. You want to gather all the world leaders around a campfire, lead them in a sing-along, and buy them all a Coke. Then, just as quickly, the drug wears off and you find yourself standing again on planet Earth.

Teeth: My teeth hurt.

Brent: My brent hurt.

The Management: Notice! *BRNT* That is all, thank you.

Mime: Help, I'm trapped in a cube.

Jace: Pull on this rope.

MEDREZINE: The medrezine appears to be having a rather adverse effect on the woman. It's nice to administer this nerve gas antidote when someone is exposed to nerve gas, but when they're not, it proves to be somewhat uncomfortable. In fact, it proves to be deadly. Living and learning at the expense of another life may also prove to be deadly.

Mime: There's a dog on the other end. Suck my the. This mic Bob.

Bob: This Mike do.

[laughter]

Jace: Go down these stairs?

Mime: I go behind the couch, now I am gone.

OFREEALL: The ofreeall takes effect on the woman. The ofreeall takes effect on the woman's heart. The woman's heart stops. The woman dies. This does not appear to be good. The police never like the looks of something like this. They'll probably do something about it. They probably will do something about it.

Crude Dude: Rude food.

Jer: I pee on TV. It goes zap!

Homer: I am a lamp.

Jace: My jace hurt.

Jeeves: Beseen's hit counter.

CHEMOPAPAIN: The drug appears to have no effect on the person, but I'll bet that deep inside, there are some wonderful, wonderful dreams going on about birds, and flowers, and busloads of children heading for Disneyland.

Cow: Milk me. I give milk. Drink my milk.

Boy: Goodbye.

Charlie: I have no bones.

Cow: Then I milk myself. I get milk. I drink my milk.

Jace: What? Whith this hash.

OFREEALL: You feel the ofreeall course through your veins. You feel it pump through your heart. You feel your heart stop pumping. You feel pain in your chest. You wonder, "Was this a mistake?" As you collapse to the ground you begin to think so. As you lose consciousness you begin to believe so. As you die you begin to know so.

Meow: Dinner.

[applause]

Death: Anti death halo.

Chris: Well... (he picks his nose)

MEDREZINE: Medrezine comes in very handy when you've been given a dose of nerve gas. It is the only antidote that can save your life in such a situation. But since you haven't been given a dose of nerve gas, the antidote alone proves to be rather disagreeable. In fact, you begin to have violent convulsions. "Gee," you wonder, "was it foolish of me to take an antidote like this?" The answer: "you bet your life it was!"

Ogre: I wield chainsaw.

Grunt: I wield nougat.

Sam: What fish?

Jake: No, those Cheerios give you bacon.

LADY: The power of your punch sends a nasty dream to the sleepy head that it struck. The dream takes the form of a ramrod slamming into the harmless little home of a rabbit. The dreamer is thoroughly disgusted.

Matin: I believe I am no.

[hysterical laughter]

MAN: The power of your punch sends a wierd dream to the sleepy head that it struck. The dream takes the form of a locomotive plowing headlong into a barn full of lamb chops. The dreamer wants more.

Jake: Never whine! Don't do drugs!

BUDDY: Buddy plugs himself full of lead. Killing one of your fellow human beings is generally considered unwise, unless it's in self defence, of course. This particular wanton slaying gets Buddy the chair. As they strap Buddy to the electric chair, he mutters to himself, "Well, I'm really going to get a jolt out of this one!" A flip of the switch and Buddy's dead.

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-=- CRickTV -=-
...watch the sixth episode...
-=- CRickTV -=-

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