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volume 1, issue 11

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loonyboi's Frag 2 Diary

By Jason "loonyboi" Bergman

I should point out here, that this is my diary, and not an after-the-fact report of The Frag 2. Much of this may be completely irrelivant to someone looking to hear about the whole event...and I claim no responsibility for my state of mind when writing this.

- Jason "loonyboi" Bergman, editor-in-chief.

10/30 - Flight from NY - 8:20 am eastern

I don't particularly care much for flying, and the fact that i'm continually doing it these days doesn't seem to help especially much, despite what you might think. Part of the reason for this is of course, my incredible (and quite baffling) fear of heights, but I also don't care much for the whole Airplane/Airport thing either. It seems to me, that they go out of their way to make the whole thing as silly an experience as possible.

Example: when I sat down here in my seat (which, praise the lord is one of those exit seat things...i'm quite tall, and am more than willing to take those extra responsibilities that come with the extra leg room) the monitor in front of me (which looks to have the LCD resolution of a Color GameBoy) was playing the music video from some new rendition of "Leaving on a Jet Plane".

The cheezeball irony here is not completely lost on me, of course, but but hey...that's downright silly. Ye gods...it's a Madonna video on now...excuse me, but I just can't say no to a Madonna video, expecially not one flushed in vibrant blue (gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous). More after I recover from takeoff.

10/30 - Somewhere over New York - 9:00 am Eastern

Phew! So here I am in the air, window firmly shut so as not to suffer a crippling panic attack (I specifically request a window seat for just that reason).

The takeoff went aout as well as one of these takeoffs can go. Making this one unique however, was the fact that a flight attendant was siting opposite me during the whole ordeal. Apparently one of those "responsibilities" I referred to earlier, is having to sacrifice that coveted legroom to a male flight attendant when the need arises.

"Don't worry...this is one of those planes," he said, no doubt reacting to my green face, and look of impending doom.

I explained my fabulous fear of flying to him, and interrupted him before he could finish that sentence, but now i'm trying to figure out just what he was going to say there.

"Don't worry...this is one of those planes where the exit seats are the last to detonate."

"Don't worry...this is one of those planes...you know, if we crash in the mountains, you're way too skinny to make a decent dinner."

"Don't worry...this is one of those new planes with government regulations that prohibit the captain from drinking excessively during takeoff."

Ugh...two more hours....and then it's 60 minutes in St. Louis time...yay! I've never been to St. Louis, but I think I know some people who live there...or maybe that's D.C....

Oh fudge...I finished my book already, and the plane's only been in the air for five minutes. Good thing I brought a backup...

10/30 - In St. Louis - 10:15 Central

I'm sitting in some airport in St. Louis. More specifically, i'm sitting in the "smoker's lounge" in some airport in St. Louis. If you're wondering why the heck i'm in St. Louis to begin with, blame it on last minute plane tickets. I'm here for the next hour and a half or so.

I'm sitting here in a "smoker's lounge". This I like. I've been in many airports, and they are all slowly ditching any sort of accomedations for us hopeless nicotine fiends...this is a breath of fresh air (or lack thereof).

St. Louis. I have never had any desire to visit St. Louis. Kinda like Detroit...I had my layover on my last trip to Las Vegas there. Did you ever notice that layovers are in the least interesting places in the world? I mean what the heck is in St. Louis, anyway? Okay, the arches. Whee. Oh man, am I ever going to get hate mail over that one. ;)

There's some asian guy staring at me...must be the Star Trek federation style notebook. Yeah, i'm a geek...sue me. Maybe there's a low geek population here...better not pull out the Palm Pilot...I may find myself fielding job offers or something.

It's 10:30 or so...time for a beer, I think.

(Continued on next page)

Credits: This article is © 1998 Jason Bergman. All other content is © 1998 loonyboi productions. Unauthorized reproduction is strictly prohibited and totally not cool.