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      <h5><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">//<a href="../../../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">loonygames</font></a>://<a href="../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">issue 
        2.7</font></a>://<a href="index.html"><font color="#7C420E">down the pipe</font></a>://1, 
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              <h5 align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#00025E"><img src="../../images/icons/pipe_final.jpg" width="193" height="239" align="left"><loonystart>Vol. 
                2, Issue 7<br>
                December 24, 1999<br>
                </font></b></h5>
              <br>
              <br>
              <div align="center"> 
                <p align="center"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000FF"><i><font color="#904C10" size="3">Down 
                  the Pipe</font></i></font></b></p>
                <p align="center"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000FF"><i><font color="#904C10" size="6"> 
                  Suck it Down, Bitch</font></i></font></b></p>
                <p align="right"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">by 
                  Russell &quot;<a href="mailto:radpipe@loonygames.com">RadPipe</a>&quot; 
                  Lauzon</font></p>
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              <p>&nbsp;</p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="../../images/letters_new/w.jpg" width="34" height="37" align="left">ell, 
                <a href="http://trademarks.uspto.gov/content/cgi/ifetch4?ENG+ALL+3+947480+4+1+328628+F+7+15+1+ON%2f%22ion+storm%22">this 
                has been around for a while</a>, and while I personally think 
                this whole trademarking issue is getting just a little silly, 
                I can&#146;t help but think I can capitalize on it myself and 
                make me some easy cash. Thus, here&#146;s a few phrases that will 
                soon be trademarked by my own little company, RadPipe Entertainment 
                Enterprises Games Storm (or REEGS).</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">gg</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yep, no 
                longer will you able to type gg at the end of a hearty online 
                battle (without forking over some cool royalties to me). Instead 
                you&#146;ll have to use phrases like, &#147;This was an excellent 
                battle that we have just fought&#148;, or, &#147;Your jama be 
                way cool groovy on me man&#148;, or the expressive, &#147;I wish 
                to tell you that this is indeed a well played game that we have 
                played in hopes of promoting good feelings and well wishing in 
                the online gaming forum&#148;, or simply, &#147;No offense&#148;.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">lol</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">This one 
                has always bugged me so I feel very good about trademarking it. 
                I mean, if you just pronounce it as it looks, &#147;lol&#148;, 
                it sounds pretty queer huh. But now, as I own it, you&#146;ll 
                have to revert to time-honored phrases such as, &#147;I am laughing 
                heartily with mouth open wide&#148;, and &#147;I giggle in your 
                general direction.&#148; Cool huh? Much better than lol.</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font></p>
              <div align="left"><b>:) </b></div>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">No more 
                emoticons! In fact, I&#146;m going to trademark the whole lot 
                of them. All two thousand and ten. Even the weird ones that your 
                nephew Lester comes up with and no one can make heads or tails 
                of them without a 3 paragraph email instructing you in how to 
                lean your head and exactly what those | phallic symbols are doing 
                in there. Consider as replacements: </font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> :) &#147;I 
                am now smiling politely&#148;; </font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">&#147;I 
                am now frowning at your previous comment and I might be a little 
                sad too&#148;; <br>
                :~( &#147;I am now crying with all my heart and soul and would 
                appreciate a retraction at your statement and perhaps a warm hug 
                from the nearest big-bosomed female&#148;; </font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">:~) &#147;I 
                am now crying I am so happy. Am I not the cutest thing you&#146;ve 
                ever seen?&#148; </font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ick, you 
                might want to just forego that last one and fork over the cash 
                for use of the emoticon.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">wtf</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">This will 
                be a tough one for all you hardcore gamers, as it&#146;s a very 
                expressive term. Instead you&#146;ll have to use phrases like, 
                &#147;I am beside myself in wonder,&#148; and &#147;Good grief!&#148; 
                and &#147;Zoinks!&#148; Although if you happen to come across 
                your best friend in the midst of a passionate love making with 
                your favorite fem, you might want to shout the long form of the 
                acronym at the top of your lungs, as it&#146;s probably most appropriate.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">bs</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I like 
                this short form and am quite pleased that soon I will be the only 
                one allowed to use it without the penalty of paying compensation. 
                I mean, it&#146;s short and just chuck full of aggressive doubt, 
                all on its own. Consider: &#147;I am certainly not believing of 
                your statement or act&#148;, or &#147;This can hardly be construed 
                as true in any form,&#148; or &#147;Romero&#146;s a he?!&#148; 
                as suitable replacements.</font></p>
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<p><i><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-2">Credits: Illustration 
  &copy; 1999 Dan Zalkus. Down the Pipe is &copy; 1999 Russell Lauzon. All other 
  content is &copy; 1999 loonyboi productions. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited. 
  So don't do it. Please? Pretty please? Okay, fine...be that way. But don't ask 
  me for your allowance, young man.</font></i></p>
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