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      <h5><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">//<a href="../../../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">loonygames</font></a>://<a href="../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">issue 
        2.1</font></a>://<a href="index.html"><font color="#7C420E">down the pipe</font></a>://<a href="index.php"><font color="#7C420E">1</font></a>, 
        2</font></b></h5>
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                      <p><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000FF"><i><font color="#904C10" size="2">Down 
                        the Pipe:</font><font color="#904C10" size="4"><br>
                        Introductory Ramblings</font></i></font></b><br>
                      
                      <div align="right"> <font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-1">ByRussell 

                        &quot;<a href="mailto:radpipe@loonygames.com">RadPipe</a>&quot; 
                        Lauzon </font></div>
                    </div>
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                  <td width="45%" align="right" valign="top"> 
                    <h5 align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#00025E">Vol. 
                      2, Issue 1&nbsp; <br>
                      November 12, 1999&nbsp; </font></b></h5>
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              <h5 align="right">&nbsp; </h5>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial"><loonystart>Hey now, how about some background 
                info on our Radmeister? It goes against my better judgement, and 
                makes me a target for Canada's Most Wanted, but what the heck. 
                I hail from the Toronto area and I work in a pharmaceutical company 
                as a Validation Specialist. Essentially I do tons of documentation 
                in preparation for FDA audits so that we can make drugs and sell 
                them to the general public. Now doesn't that just send shivers 
                up your sphincter? I've been a professional computer techie for 
                over ten years and have loads of writing experience that I've 
                accumulated mostly on the side. I have a book published and I 


                worked briefly for Atlantis Films (now Alliance Atlantis) in Toronto 
                on an action/drama TV series. If those crazy guys at Raven ever 
                get their webzine going, then hopefully you'll see a few of my 
                pieces pop up there. I'm married. I have 3 kids (boys. Yes, I'm 
                raising a clan. No, this is not a joke).</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Well I've pretty much reached 
                the end of my &quot;Here's who I am, what I do, and how jizzed 
                you'll be by upcoming Features yadda yadda&quot; talk, so let's 
                move on to a new subject. I'll title this:</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">&quot;How To Cook Forty Humans&quot;</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">If you can follow any bizarre 
                phrases like that, then, not only are we connected on some higher 
                unknown level, but you're probably a thesis subject for the white-coats 
                too. It's not all bad, though. You get a lot of attention and 
                they let you eat all the ice cream you want.</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Here's an exchange I thought 
                I'd share with everyone.</font></p>
              <div align="left">
                <blockquote>&nbsp; </blockquote>
              </div>
              <blockquote>
                <p align="left"><font face="Arial">&lt;me&gt; I'm doing my commentary 
                  on loonygames and I need a topic. Quick, what's the most embarrassing 
                  thing on your desk?</font> </p>
                <p align="left"> <font face="Arial">&lt;levelord&gt; ...got one! 
                  ...not on my desk, but on my chair, ...just between my legs 
                  where the Warrior would be if I was naked, there's a stain that 
                  looks just like, ...just like, ...well, you know, ...like I 
                  was here late one night when no one else was here and, ...well, 
                  ...you know, ...happened upon a pron page or something and, 
                  ...well, ...you know, ...made a mess? It's actually an honest 
                  catsup spill from a club sandwich that I tried to wipe up with 
                  a white napkin. The material from the napkin is now embedded 
                  in the chair and it looks a lot like a cum stain. No one believes 
                  me, especially the press when they cum, ...errrr, ...come to 
                  visit.</font></p>
              </blockquote>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Never a dull moment when the 
                good and humble levelord is on duty. Let's dissect this little 
                gem of a message. Actually, let's not. But what a great question. 
                I'd ask someone else but I don't think I could top that. Instead, 
                I asked an IRC passerby who he would play in an upcoming movie, 
                if he had a choice. His answer:</font></p>
              <div align="left">
                <blockquote>&nbsp; </blockquote>
              </div>
              <blockquote>
                <p align="left"><font face="Arial">&lt;PT&gt; I've decided.. that 
                  I'm going to be Anakin in episode 2. Yep. Might as well. It'd 
                  be fun. And I'd get to snog Natalie Portman - always a good 
                  thing.</font></p>
              </blockquote>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Ok, I'll admit, that does sound 
                like fun. But what really drew my skirt up, is this new word. 
                This &quot;snog&quot; word. Man, that's one of those new words 
                that catches me as soon as I see it. Say it for yourself. Snog. 
                I love it. I'm going to walk around all day tomorrow saying nothing 
                but snog. &quot;Hey Jim, snog lately?&quot; That's cool. Almost 
                as good as the word &quot;exhume&quot;. Try using that in an everyday 
                sentence. It actually works quite well. &quot;Yeah we're going 
                to exhume that piece of code and take another look at it.&quot; 
                I emailed John Carmack not long ago asking if he wanted to coin 
                that baby. He didn't respond. Wonder why.</font></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Welp, that's pretty much the 
                end of this week's commentary. Next week I promise to talk about 
                interesting subjects that are actually relevant to real world 
                gaming issues, whatever those may be. In closing, I'd like to 
                leave you with one final thought, parlayed to me by a good friend 
                who</font> <br>
                <font face="Arial">wishes to remain nameless:</font></p>
              <div align="left">
                <blockquote>&nbsp; </blockquote>
              </div>
              <blockquote>
                <p align="left"><font face="Arial">&lt;Good Nameless Friend&gt; 
                  One of my cats is named Poopie Eye. She has a brown eye and 
                  a blue eye.</font></p>
              </blockquote>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial">Life doesn't get any better than 
                that.</font></p>
              <p>&nbsp;</p><p align="right"><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><i>- 
                Russell &quot;RadPipe&quot; Lauzon is currently exhausting all 
                his free time researching Beer Goggles.</i></loonystart></font></p>
              <p align="right">&nbsp;</p>
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<p><i><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-2">Credits: Illustration 
  &copy; 1999 Dan Zalkus. Down the Pipe is &copy; 1999 Russell Lauzon. All other 
  content is &copy; 1999 loonyboi productions. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited, 
  biznitch.</font></i></p>
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