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      <h5><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">//<a href="../../../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">loonygames</font></a>://<a href="../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">issue 
        2.7</font></a>://<a href="index.html"><font color="#7C420E">down the pipe</font></a>://1, 
        <a href="index2.php"><font color="#7C420E">2</font></a></font></b></h5>
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                      <p><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000FF"><i><font color="#904C10" size="2">Down 
                        the Pipe:</font><font color="#904C10" size="4"><br>
                        <font size="3">Suck it Down, Bitch</font></font></i></font></b><br>
                      
                      <div align="right"> <font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-1">By 
                        Russell &quot;<a href="mailto:radpipe@loonygames.com">RadPipe</a>&quot; 
                        Lauzon </font></div>
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                  <td width="45%" align="right" valign="top"> 
                    <h5 align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#00025E">Vol. 
                      2, Issue 7&nbsp; <br>
                      December 24, 1999&nbsp; </font></b></h5>
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              <loonystart> 
              <h5 align="right">&nbsp;</h5>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><b>camper</b></font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ouch, 
                now what will you call those cheesy players who don&#146;t have 
                the balls to face you in the open and duke it out man to man? 
                &#147;Hey, you, guy, you&#146;re a guy who hides and gets lots 
                of frags, and, well, we all dislike guys that do gooder like that 
                because we think it&#146;s cheesy and stuff.&#148; Good luck!</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Re</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is 
                one I see in IRC all the time, and it&#146;s one I personally 
                hate with a passion. It&#146;s like saying, &#147;It&#146;s good 
                to see you again, but only marginally so. In fact, about the only 
                effort I&#146;m going to make at a greeting is typing re[Enter], 
                which is about 3 keystrokes more effort than I really want to 
                expend.&#148; Me, I like healthy good-to-see-you greetings that 
                go on for 3 hours and give you the kind of warm fuzzies that will 
                last all day. &#147;Hey bro, good morning and how the hell are 
                ya?&#148; is a good one. Or, &#147;Hey chick! Lay some sweet Mynx-type 
                lovin&acute; on me, babe!&#148;</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">j/k</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><br>
                Just kidding? Joking? Who knows. You can try all you want to rob 
                your words of offense, but the harm is already done. Poor little 
                Jimmy is scarred for life. Instead of tacking j/k to your statement 
                as an afterthought, try proceeding your little jab with a disclaimer: 
                &#147;Warning: my following comment is not intended to harm the 
                psyche of anyone present. It is meant for humor purposes only 
                and should not be viewed as slanderous or damaging to anyone present. 
                Those who are typically offended by humor should leave the room.&#148; 
                With a statement like that you&#146;re covered. Well covered. 
                In fact, you can say just about anything you want after that little 
                diddy and have it come off smelling as sweet and rosy as John 
                Romero&#146;s hair.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">ping</font></b></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">My wife 
                says that whenever she sees me chatting with people on the computer, 
                it&#146;s always about ping. And ever since she said that, I notice 
                that yes indeed, people talk about it all the time. So, I&#146;m 
                going to capitalize on it. Now instead of saying ping, you&#146;ll 
                have to say, &#147;The time it takes for one network packet to 
                be sent from one host to another and back.&#148; This has corollaries 
                to the LPB and HPB phrases so, fair warning. LPB players will 
                now be known as bitches, and HPB players will be bastards. I love 
                simple solutions.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, 
                I guess that&#146;s a pretty short list for now, but depending 
                on how well I can capitalize on it, you may see me expand the 
                list in the near future to cover other such greats as rofl, heh, 
                and the ever popular yep. If you have any suggestions for me to 
                add, heck mail them in and include alternate phrases that people 
                can use in their place. I mean, I don&#146;t want to be a complete 
                jerk about it. I just want to be rich. And if you don&#146;t like 
                it? Well you can just suck it down, bitch.</font></p>
              <p></p>
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              <div align="center">
                <p align="right"><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><i>- 
                  Russell &quot;RadPipe&quot; Lauzon currently holds the world 
                  record for using the word &quot;exhumed&quot; 15 times in a 
                  single sentence.</i></font></p>
              </div></loonystart>
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<p><i><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-2">Credits: Illustration 
  &copy; 1999 Dan Zalkus. Down the Pipe is &copy; 1999 Russell Lauzon. All other 
  content is &copy; 1999 loonyboi productions. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited. 
  So don't do it. Please? Pretty please? Okay, fine...be that way. But don't ask 
  me for your allowance, young man.</font></i></p>
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