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      <h5><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">//<a href="../../../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">loonygames</font></a>://<a href="../index.html"><font color="#7C420E">issue 
        2.6</font></a>://<a href="index.html"><font color="#7C420E">down the pipe</font></a>://<a href="index.php"><font color="#7C420E">1</font></a>, 
        2</font></b></h5>
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                      <p><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000FF"><i><font color="#904C10" size="2">Down 
                        the Pipe:</font><font color="#904C10" size="4"><br>
                        <font size="3">Can't Wait for Cyberspace</font></font></i></font></b><br>
                      <div align="right"> <font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-1">By 

                        Russell &quot;<a href="mailto:radpipe@loonygames.com">RadPipe</a>&quot; 
                        Lauzon </font></div>
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                  <td width="45%" align="right" valign="top"> 
                    <h5 align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#00025E">Vol. 
                      2, Issue 6&nbsp; <br>
                      December 17, 1999&nbsp; </font></b></h5>
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          <loonystart>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">You&#146;ll 
                always be built like Arnold Schwartzenegger and look like Brad 
                Pitt . So what if you&#146;re an acne-faced squirt of goo who 
                couldn&#146;t punch your way out of a paper bag. In the virtual 
                world you can look however you like. Roam down the virtual highways 
                as a gorilla; storm the chat rooms as Roseanne Barr; fight your 
                way through Quake 14 as Colonel Grossman. The only limits are 
                your own imagination. While your body atrophies in the Life Coffin, 
                your mind is energized by an environment with no boundaries. &#147;What 
                will I do today? What won&#146;t I do today!&#148;</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Your environment 
                is totally customizable. Screw sitting in your bedroom smacking 
                away at a keyboard. Put me on a beach with sun and surf and turn 
                off the gravity on me. I&#146;ll just float here by my umbrella. 
                Ah yes. I&#146;ll need waiters too. And cute chicks wafting cool 
                air over me with giant palm tree leaves. No wait, make it a hot 
                tub on the deck of a big comfy chalet somewhere in the snowy alps. 
                </font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Human 
                interaction is better than ever. Now here&#146;s where all the 
                naysayers are shouting, &#147;Boo!&#148; But have you ever woken 
                up next to someone with horrible morning breath? Yeck. In Cyberspace 
                you can go to a party and everyone there has the perfect body 
                and the perfect face (or conversely, go to a party where everyone 
                looks like my butt). And you can go home with any one of them 
                and have completely care-free wild sex and it&#146;ll be the safest 
                sex you ever have. You don&#146;t like someone? Ignore them. I 
                mean actively ignore them. Put them in your Ignore List and you&#146;ll 
                never see them or hear from them again. Cyberspace will make it 
                so much easier to meet people who have interests like your own. 
                When you consider that you can immediately be connected with people 
                around the world who are just like you, that&#146;s gotta be a 
                lot easier than how it is now.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Games 
                are....fantastic. As hardware improves I&#146;m always amazed 
                at how far gaming technology progresses. Imagine what kind of 
                games people will come up with when we have full fledged Virtual 
                Reality on our hands. I want to wander through a dungeon wearing 
                virtual armor with a virtual sword in my hands and fight a virtual 
                fire-breathing dragon. That would rock. And you know the funny 
                thing? I don&#146;t want it to look too real. I want it to look 
                more like a cross between Diablo and one of the TV shows like 
                Beast Machines. I mean, this is fantasy right? The reality is 
                just a bit too harsh for me. Make it a bit more cartoony and I&#146;m 
                all for it.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">It&#146;s 
                a great way to meet aliens. Yeah, you heard me. Real aliens from 
                other worlds with funky antennae and green skin and bulging eyes. 
                You see, sailing through space is just such an inefficient way 
                to meet other beings. One of these days we&#146;ll invent a device 
                that carries signals instantaneously from point to point over 
                any distance, and we&#146;ll discover a whole new internet connecting 
                billions of stars across the universe. Earth will just be another 
                node in a star topology. Hanker down and discuss universe-beat 
                issues with 3-headed grogonites on planet Zedumulus; visit a virtual 
                rendition of the exploding art of one Magmulatin Gelutomous on 
                the primate world of Zeta Beta 6; play some <b>Quake 14</b> with 
                7of9 of Borg. Cool. Bring it on.</font></p>
              <p align="left"></p>
              <p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Okay, 
                so I&#146;m a geek. I like technology and computers and how the 
                world is progressing. While this article has focused on the things 
                I look forward to in Cyberspace, there is another column in me 
                that discusses the negative things. But for now, this is RadPipe, 
                dreaming of the day when I can eat cookies in bed and not worry 
                about crumbs.</font></p>
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              <div align="center">
                <p align="right"><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><i>- 
                  Russell &quot;RadPipe&quot; Lauzon currently holds the world 
                  record for using the word &quot;exhumed&quot; 15 times in a 
                  single sentence.</i></font></p></loonystart>
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<p><i><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="-2">Credits: Illustration 
  &copy; 1999 Dan Zalkus. Down the Pipe is &copy; 1999 Russell Lauzon. All other 
  content is &copy; 1999 loonyboi productions. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited. 
  So don't do it. Please? Pretty please? Okay, fine...be that way. But don't ask 
  me for your allowance, young man.</font></i></p>
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