The Song Thread

[scar3crow]

surely some of you remember these hijinks back on the AI Cafe forums?

set to the tune of The Distance by Cake

reluctantly camped at the red armor
packets pinging and ponging the verse
the t_fog flashes, the rockets fly
flaming and crashing, players die

jumping and strafing, they move for the kill
fragging straight on a pork rib meal
bunnyhoping, straferunning down every hall
they scatter and flee to the quad rockets call

the fraglimit nears, the faint go idle
the servers empty, the campers smile
the flags have all been captured, except for one man
still running, rocketjumping, ping of a lan

the admin has reset and the foes have timed out
but even under lava he does not shout
cause hes respawning and running and seeking that flag
stopped by nothing, not even packetloss or lag

hes charging the flag room
hes gunnin for red
that flags undefended
in its time of need
because they idled, and timed out, yet he still persists
hes propelled by rockets and airfists
hes charging the flag room

no fanfare, no 10 score, no capture, no win
defeated by something he cannot defend
admin tossing insults about the matches course
"you speedhacked and used, illegitimate source"

but he insists no cheats, no way that could be
"i just wanted to own in the base mckinley,
so i practied, and dry ran, like a hook monkey
so i could win this match of backwards F T C"

the admin shakes his head and resets the server
but before he can their arrives such a fervor
refusing to lose his network socket
our hero frags the admin with an octa-rocket

hes charging the flag room
hes gunnin for red
that flags undefended
in its time of need
because they idled, and timed out, yet he still persists
hes propelled by rockets and airfists
hes charging the flag room
hes gunnin for red
he'll capture that flag now
or youre gonna be dead

[Sajt]

Hahaha, I love these things

It got a little thin around the backwards FTC part, but still hilarious

[scar3crow]

the thinness occured because i forgot the tone i was rhyming with for whatever reason, and i didnt proofread before posting


write your own! theyre fun to make

[Sajt]

Set to the tune of John Cash's 4'33"


Smoke clears in the hall
a charred piece of hair drifts down
the eyeless face smiles

[scar3crow]

To the tune of Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey I'm Cthulhu
So now you're crazy
But heed my call
Back to R'lyeh

[frag.machine]

Who let the dogs out ?
HOOF HOOF HOOF HOF
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT ?!
HOOF HOOF HOOF HOF

A mariner is nothing if he don't have a boomstick
Oh doggie hold your bone oh doggie hold it
A mariner is nothing if he don't have a rocket launcher
Oh shambler eat your bomb oh shambler eat it

[jim]

Shambler the Delighted
He roams through the castle side
He never needs a place to hide
With Ogre'n'Fiend as his sidekicks
Fighting with their little tricks
Casting lightning and smashing skulls
Being delighted is never dull
He's Shambler, he's Shambler the Delighted

Sing it like The Ballad of Joxer the Mighty. And record it and make all idling Shamblers sing it..