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Your idea of Deathmatch is doing some funky breakdance moves before getting killed. |
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You program your moves into a macro so that 30 seconds later you'll actually do something useful. |
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You seem to have this *REALLY* strong attraction to the Volcano God. |
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You can't walk through a door without smacking your face on each side of the frame twice. |
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You have to use a different handle when you play at home so as not to mess up the fame you've accumulated playing in the office. |
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You get fragged anytime you try to get that bloody rocket launcher on the island in the water in the Grisly Grotto. |
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You have no hope of getting the nailgun on the start level because you are guaranteed to fall in the lava. |
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You get stuck in the moat at the castle. |
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You are amazed when your grenade launcher actually scores a hit and you're not damaged. |
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You almost feel pity while your gibbing someone who's actually worse off than you. |
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You see and hear every single nail that comes out of the Perforator (Super Nail Gun). |
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You put one of those rotating cartoon wheels on your screen to make it look like there is continuous action. |
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You let go of the movement arrow keys and say 'Neat, my player is possessed by the superfly girls', as you move uncontrollably. |
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Gravity starts to work in this order: 32 ft/sec, 0 ft/sec, 32 ft/sec, 0 ft/sec etc. |
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You see a rocket coming from a mile away and move 1 step before it hits. |
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You measure the server's update rate in 'seconds per frame'. |
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You find yourself taking an unguided tour of the level. |
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You fire a rocket and manage to hit yourself 30 seconds later. |
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You feel like your watching a very painful slideshow. |
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The rankings screen shows more action than the fight that just killed you. |
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You've developed heightened ESP. |
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You stop laughing at people who can't walk and chew gum at the same time. |
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You suddenly die for no apparent reason and see someone walking away. |
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You have macros to reach the exit on 'House of Lag' from every starting position. |
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After triggering said macros you can get a beer and be back in time to see if you make it to the exit without dying. |
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You fire a rocket at someone as they come around a corner, but they axe you to death from behind. |
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You wish there was an 'auto fire' to go along with 'auto-run'. |
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The only person you can frag has a 1000+ ping rate. |
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When your favoutire player name is Latent |
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When you manage to get a kill it's on that gravity less level in the pyramid room while you're in the air. |
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You've expended every grenade that you have at a player who isn't there any more. |
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You lose 100 health from what seems to be a single axe stroke (no quad damage), |
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You spend five minutes trying to line up under that torch holder so you can get armour only to have someone zip past you to get it. |
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You see the rocket thats about to kill you, stop right in front of your face. |
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Your happiest on the House of Chthon level. |
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You get telefragged 8 times at the start of the above level. |
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All you do is run up to walls and blow yourself away with rockets. |
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You take your finger off the shoot button and keep shooting for 30 more seconds. |
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You fire 25 rockets and all you manage to do is kill yourself. |
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Walking through doorways becomes a major ordeal. |
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Aim! Yeah right. |
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People call you a camper, but you'd move if you could. |
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You run around like a drunk on ice. |
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You have 1 frag. |
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You can't jump up to get the yellow armour in E1M2 without falling in the water, ever. |
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You can't run and jump onto the first ramp in E1M1, you always fall off the side. |
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Playing drunk/stoned actaully makes you BETTER!. |
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You see a player run down a long hallway and disappear after the first image. FORGET about trying to hit them. |
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You ALWAYS get telefragged because you can't move off the platform. |
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At night you dream of a T! connection, and running a -listen server on it. |
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Your Quake name is 2_MINUTE_LAG. Anybody remember how easy it was to kill me. |
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You create an alias to kill yourself just before someone gets an easy frag on you. |
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Your opponents compliment you on your innovative sacrificial tribal dances around weapons and powerups. After you're sacrificed of course. |
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You could easily get a Ph.D in Quake architecture with your intimate, close-up knowledge of wall composition and structure. |
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You realize nobody else has noticed that there are only 5 standard patterns the walls pixelate to as you walk up to them. |
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You turn your monitor on your side to see what the levels should look like. |