Letter from a pyro.. Hello. I am a Pyro.
— [WTF]Admiral
Hello.
I am a Pyro.
You may have seen me around, but I tend to keep away these days, as for some reason plenty of people don't appreciate what I can do for them.
When I do get called up for battle, it seems even to me that I am of limited use, but my therapist keeps telling me to think positive thoughts so I can get off the prozac.
The soldiers look down their noses at me, because even though my gun is just as big as theirs, it cant blow up tanks and small communities in one shot.
The scouts hate me with a vengeance. They have done ever since I accidentally dropped that Napalm Grenade outside the respawn room and left some of them with their fancy nylon pants melted to their arses.
I do have a few friends however. I am good mates with the demomen, because out on the battlefield there aren't really many corner shops to go and buy a cigarette lighter from, and my flamethrower does the trick.
And the HWGuys like me as well, because I can whip up a good barbeque for them to cook their lunches on in seconds. The reason they are so fat is because of the sides of bacon hidden in their pockets. But don't tell them I told you that OK?
But personal relationships aside, I can hold my own against the enemy. I'm still trying to workout that rocket jump trick, but I don't think I'm meant to do that.
When I come across an enemy HWGuy, I can easily run around them and cook them to a crisp, and usually come out pretty healthy as well. The medics have become a bit tired of removing AC ammo from my arse though.
Enemy snipers nests are nothing but a big flammable hidey hole to me, and there is nothing more appealing than watching a sniper trying to shoot you while they are covered in fire.
One thing I have to work on though is my uniform.
It looks like a giant red condom, and doesn't really help my credibility out much as you can imagine. Maybe I can get some of the spies to whip me up a new uniform. God knows they like to play dress up enough, they should at least have some basic sewing skills.
Uh oh, here comes the Engineer, he needs my help to do a bit of welding on his damaged Sentry Gun, so I better be off.
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