24 Hour Coin Operated Church of Elvis SPECIAL EDITION
It has been a while since Zorak last fired up the machine. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Hal had to borrow some coins to power his Rant-O-Matic. Enjoy our exclusive preview of Velve Softwear's upcoming game Colonial Strike, as well as our exclusive Team Fortress 2 news.
— Zorak
Colonial Strike Preview
BACKGROUND
Cutting edge developer Velve Softwear decided to make "Colonial Strike" to sell within the United States instead of TF2. "Sales of TF2 are expected to be very low in America" says Ron Wilken, who works at Velve. Velve then decided to make a patriotic version of TF2 for the US only.
OVERVIEW
The game is basically TF2 with some changes. It does not use the TF2 engine, but uses the Wolfenstein engine. "We ripped the source code off the internet." says Tod Beckman, Chief of Warez at Velve Softwear. The game will look great, but its important that a game plays good too. That is why the game will be multiplay on AoL only. It is not known how much money AoL payed to get this priveledge.
George Washington gibs Benedict Arnold!
CLASSES
In CS you can play either as the colonials or the british. "These classes are so good we might use them for TF2." says the janitor at Velve. The colonials have three classes and the british have two classes. Here is a short summary of them:
George Washington - Colonial
George Washington is the soldier of CS. He has the speed of a scout, because he rides a horse. His saber also instantly gibs anyone in front of him. He can only wear light armor, since otherwise the horse falls over and you die.
Go git em Ben! Ben Franklin uses his lightning kite for destruction.
Ben Franklin - Colonial
Ben Franklin is the engineer and high tech man of the 1700s. He can set up liberty bells that will gun down the enemy . His primary weapon is also the lightning kite. You put a key on it, and if an enemy comes near it zaps them.
Sam Adams fearlessly guards the ramp room, just like in the 1700s!
Sam Adams - Colonial
Sam Adams brews beer for the colonials to give them energy. In other words, he is a medic. "This is my favorite class!" says Jack Kook. He can also throw beer at the enemy and injure them.
Paul Revere - British
You might think Paul Revere was for the colonies, but not in this game. Paul Revere rides his horse and yells stuff. When yelling, his voice has the effect of four detpaks.
Benedict Arnold - British
The spy of the game. Benedict Arnold an disguise himself as a colonial general, and then give the enemy a good old musket in the back!
Paul Revere gets torched by the liberty bell flame sentry!
There is no sniper in the game, because he was taken out. It was decided after they realized his musket only had a range of two meters, not counting the barrel.
MAPS
A great game like CS must have good maps! These are the maps Velve told us about:
Boston Tea Party Zone
In this map you must dress as Indians and steal the tea!
Hunted King George
The British must protect King George from the mean Sam Adams.
This will be a great game! These are all the details that have been released.
It is rumored that the release date will be somewhere after the warez release.
TEAM FORTRESS 2 NEWS
EXCLUSIVE! STOP PRESS! STOP PRESS!
Team Fortress 2 will be 3d. Not a top down 2d game as rumored.
DISCLAIMER:All of this is not true.
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