You know I was browsing a lot of the GameSpy network of sites, and I noticed a lot about Sicko De Mayo. I read on about it and I saw that it was in California, you know that angers me. I live in Ohio, and not a damn thing happens out here. There is probably 1 lan party a year and I can never get anyone to take me (most are in Pennsilvania, or however you spell it). I would like to know if any kind of big event might happen in Ohio, or somewhere close, so all the eastern gamers can get in on the fun?

DieHard: eh there, You live in Ohio?! Well I live in upper michigan.... no not near the bridge..... the part of michigan that everyone forgets about, the upper peninsula. Where I live is bad..... there is one other TFC player that I know. Lan parties are non existent. hehe yeah I know how you feel.
NextWish: Go to www.lanparty.com to look up lan parties that could be happening around you. Hopefully you will be able to find a party!

Buenos Dias, Trabaje desde su casa u oficina 2 o 3 hs diarias, o bien tiempo completo. Ganancias sujetas al esfuerzo y tiempo que quieras emplear. Puedes ganar desde $ 1500 a $ 3000 mensuales o mas aun. Esto no es Marketing Multi Nivel y no cuesta nada para empezar, es un negocio legitimo el cual puede realizarlo desde su propia casa o trabajo, practicado por miles de personas alrededor del mundo. Todo lo que necesita es una computadora con acceso a Internet, casilla de Email y Ud puede comenzar a ganar dinero residual antes de fin de mes. Para mas informacion, conteste este mensaje al remitente poniendo en la linea de Asunto (o Subject Line) la siguiente palabra: INFO (para que el sistema de autorespuesta conteste automaticamente, es indispensable que la palabra INFO figure en la linea de Asunto) y recibira toda la informacion necesaria para comenzar a trabajar YA!!

Slick: Gracias mucho amore amigo!!
NextWish: Gotta Love MLM Spam ;)

I have a question...Is there any prelim release info on TF2. I've been pumped for quite a while, but I have been focused on school for months, and I'm just getting back into the Half-Life/TFC world, and I was wondering about Release Date info. Please help...

Slick: Currently the latest info is updated (all the time as new interviews previews ect ect reveal more info) at our TF2 Section. You be fully up to speed if you read all of that and check out the screenshots. Right now there is no release date info: and I personally don't have a time set in my mind (though the last word that was ever from anyone from Valve said they hope it's out by the end of the year. -- But that doesn't mean much as to how close they are to completion, or if publishing by Sierra has anything to play in involvement)

Where the hell is Spif? I know he left the scene but I miss him...sniff...sniff. Someone get him to make a guest appearance in #TFBarAndGrill. Btw, Slick is ghey!

Slick: I haven't talked to SpacemanSpif in quite some time, The Hal is still around enough to get back to my emails promptly. Maybe I can talk the two of them into a "remembrance" interview, yeah I like that idea!

Hmmm Ghey: Can't find it in the dictionary; Hopefully I'll be able to find it in the "internet t41k for d0mm13s" along with definitions for words like: l33t pl4y4s, y0u m4mm4s 0wn j00!

I logged on to a TFC server today, and I discovered people who were
obviously freaks. I mean, they were civil, had gotten enough sleep the
night before, and they were well adjusted. I mean, how freaky is that?
Scary, that was. So as a public service, I'm releasing this "How to be
nutty" mp3 top the public, composed by [TROUT]Yakbutter, and filtered
out by Avatar-X. Don't try to make sense of it: there is none. That why
it's perfect for teaching insanity.

http://llama.pcgame.com/yakgroove.mp3

No, it's not zipped, but stop your bitching =].

I didn't make it, so at least I'm not blatantly self-p1mping. And if you
ever see that crazy bastard with the flame tanks named Psyke-TFF-, laugh
at him. It'll give him time to fry your ass.

One last thing, TEAM FFUB FIRST!!

-Psyke-TFF-

--

Siggy: Yes! You love me! You really love me! By the way, I was updated
on 1-23-00.
-------------- My signature has come alive! I shall call him.... SIGGY!
And to this day...erm...minute, I have no idea why the hell I did that.

I may have a new name, But I still have the smooth texture and creamy
goodness you've come to expect from the Psykedelic [now Psyke] Fish co.!

"And it can be used as almost every word in a sentence: Fuck the fucking
fuckers."
-Humorous usages of the word fuck.mp3

-----------------------------------------------
An open letter to the People of Earth:
Dear Earthling,

Hello!

I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting your planet.

I have transformed myself into this text file.

As you are reading it, I am having sex with your  eyeballs. I
know you like it because you are smiling.

Please pass me on to someone else because I'm really horny.
----------------------------------------------------
That which kills you makes you weaker.

Illegitimus Non Carborundum
(Don't let the bastards wear you down)
+---------------------- BIZARRE BOOKS ---------------------+
                 Real Books... Unreal Titles!

The Psychic Life of Micro-Organisms; 1889
[They must have been hard up for topics in the late 1800's]

Homosexuality and Male Bonding in Pre-Nazi Germany; 1991
[Log cabin Nazis]

Put Hemorrhoids and Constipation Behind You; 1997

How To Become A Schizophrenic; 1992
[I think this is an instructional manual.]

I Knew 3000 Lunatics; 1935
[Hell, we have over 119,000 lunatics reading this now!]
-----------------------------------------------------------
All the Japanese I need to know I learned from AGFFH

"Simmons! Is that Toaster Strudel? Do you enjoy your job at the POP TART

factory?"
-rare Far Side, drawn by drunk Gary Larson

"Fuck on toast!  An ice-cream emergency!"
-M.W.F, In "Ice-Cream man"

To find the source of the problem, I'd really have to x-ray your skull.
-Wise-Ass comment #59

Best out of context quote:

" You can also try laying your mouse upside-down and manipulating its
 balls and see how that works."
-Delete Me, AGFFH
*squeek, squeek* *snicker*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BAR SPEAK AND TRANSLATION
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
--You stuck up little bitch, too good for your old friends??

"Can I get a glass of white zinfindel." (female)
--I'm easy.

"Can I get a glass of white zinfindel." (male)
--I'm gay.

"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
--You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male)
--I'm horny.

"Excuse Me." (male to male)
--Get the f--- out of the way.

"Excuse Me." (male to female)
--I am going to grope you now.

"Excuse Me." (female to male)
--Don't even think about groping me, just get the f--- out of
  the way.

"Excuse Me." (female to female).
--Move your fat ass.  Who do you think you are anyway?  You are not
  all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you  are.
  Coming in here dressing like a ho...Get your eyes off of my man, or
  I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.

"Can I have a white Russian?" (male)
--I'm really gay.

"Can I have a white Russian?" (female)
--I'm really easy.

"I don't have my ID on me." (female)
--I'm 19.

"I don't have my ID on me." (male)
--I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .4 after
  my last visit here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm 85.4545454545455% insane. I'm so close too 100% I'm going...crazy!
http://www.msu.edu/user/loossean/erin/sanity.html

Dogbert: "Are you gullible? Do you spend money on stupid
stuff? Call the "Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline" for help.
Only $4.00 per minute"
-Dilbert 6/9/96

Slick: I don't konw what scares me more, the mp3; or the guys sig...<shudder>/me slowly backs away</shudder>
NextWish: The Sig, Definately the Sig!

I just wanted to know if GameSpy is going to force you bad ass web p1mps into changing the layout of PlanetFortress to that lame excuse for an interface most of the other Planet web sites have been going through, you know, the ones that all look the same except for the color? Please for the love of God, say it ain't so! I think your current layout is EXCELLENT...DAMN YOU GAMESPY! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!

Slick: Seems people either love or hate the GameSpy design.. I've looked at it; and it is the most function design I've ever worked with, that is my major selling point. However we are not currently going with the design; but I do need to make some changes to run the features/articles/editorials at PlanetFortress properly in the immideate future, so I'm pushing some tables around and seeing what I come up with.