Where's My Ten Gauge Again?
by: Wyrmspawn, 01-08-00
Where's My Ten Gauge Again? (to the tune of "What's My Age Again?" by Blink
182)
I played some Half-Life
It was a Friday night
I ate ice cream, to get the cold mood right
I loaded "No Man's Land"
And joined the Red Team
So I could snipe some frags for me
And that's about the time a Spy snuck up on me
Who'd have known he'd move so stealthily?
And he knifed me in my back
Already died I see?
My clan said I need my ten gauge
Where's my ten gauge again? Where's my ten gauge again?
But later on
On map "Darkness"
I played as Demoman
To show stoicness
I set up pipe bombs
Around their respawn room
And then laughed - tee hee hee hee
And that's about the time a Soldier came to me
He unloaded rockets so furiously
And I'm still amused by MIRV grenades
What the hell is latency?
My clan said I need my ten gauge
Where's my ten gauge again? Where's my ten gauge again?
And that's about the time that they expelled me
Nobody likes a lack of killing spree
And you still frag like you're in the old Doom years
What the hell is latency?
My clan said I need my ten gauge
Where's my ten gauge again? Where's my ten gauge again?
That's about the time a Sniper locked onto me
And made up for my lack of accuracy
With the many years ahead to fall in love
Why'd he have to draw a bead on me?
I never want to leave my ten gauge
Where's my ten gauge again? Where's my ten gauge again?
Bye Bye Miss American Pie
by: The Skorpion, 01-08-00
I wrote TFC song. It's to the tune of "Bye Bye Miss American Pie"
Bye, Sniper, with a knife in his eye
My ten inch blade is gonna make you guys cry
When I am done, you'll see the heads rolling by.
Because I am TFC spy.
Because I am a TFC spy.
Would you like to brethe my gas?
Or maybe you want a chopped-up ass
Either one I'm really glad to oblige.
Hey! I need a medic here!
No, I'm not spying, no need to fear
So please ignore my hand-grenade.
Well I now that you're a newbie, dude
'Cause I saw you playing CZ2
You tried to cap the flag
Man was that a drag!
Prey be nimble, Prey be quick
Or you'll end up on my knifing stick
Keep the kills rolling in real quick
Because I am a spy
I started singing:
Bye, sniper, with a knife in his eye
My ten inch blade is gonna make you guys cry.
When I am done, you'll see the heads rolling by.
Becuse I am a TFC spy.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I bought Half-Life, years before
But the man there said the game just
Wouldn't play
And on the 'net the gamers played
The spammers spammed, the newbies lamed
But not a word was spoken
The TF2 shop wasn't open...
So
Bye, sniper with a knife in his eye
My ten inch blade is gonna make you guys cry
When I am done, ou'll see the heads rolling by
Because I am a TFC spy!
No Frags In The Respawn Room
by: Emcee-IG aka Project Emcee & [SO]MM3Sewell, 01-08-00
this is a parody of "No Sex(in the champagne room) by Chris Rock
you really have to have headr the original to enjoy this
No Frags(in the respawn room)
Good evening Newbies of 1999.
I have one piece of advice for you-
no matter what a veteran tells you-
Theres no frags in the respawn room....none-
Oh theres enemies in the respawn room-
and you want the enemies...you want frags-
but theres no frags in the respawn room-
Dont goto the other base with no ammo-
sure it looks pretty-
but what about all those motherfuckers waiting inside with guns?-
they know you aint got none-
If a guy says hes never played before and hes got negative frags-
hes never played before-
If a guy says hes never played before and hes 50-0-
hes played a lot longer than you-
take off that silly ass disguise-
That guy 140-0 couldnt have possibly killed that many guys-
Hes captured a few flags-
Young players, if you get shot by your teammate-
let it slide-
why spend the next 20 minutes shooting him when it aint doing shit-
rocketjumpin, aint nuthin wrong with that-
no matter what you think of what I'm saying-
remember this one thing-
There is no frags in the respawn room
Uhh
no frags in the respawn room (6x)
absolutely positively no frags in the respawn room
absolutely positively no frags in the respawn room
If a Demoman has a knife-
He hasnt been a demoman for that long-
real spies are tricky like that-
If you see a big red dot-
You're probably gonna get shot-
If you see a lil red dot-
you're probably gonna get shot-
heres a horoscope for everyone-
Sniper -your gonna die
Soldier -your gonna die
Engineer-your gonna die twice =) (him and his sentry)
Pyro -your gonna die
Spy -your gonna die infected
No spy goes to the enemy base undisguised-
If youve been in an empty server for 10 minutes-
And noone has joined-
you're not in the right server-
some of the things I've said may not apply to you
some of the things I've said may offend you-
but no matter who you are you must remember this one thing-
no matter what a veteran says-
theres no frags in the respawn room-
NONE!
Theres no frags frags in the respawn room (5x)
aint get none cant have none, naaa
in the respawn room
there is absolutely positively no frags in the respawn room
na na say, no no ooooow there aint no frags in the respawn room
na na say na na
G-Funk TFC
by: Madspin, 01-08-00
All you punk suckah-dukz yall can't see me...
When I be bustin' caps playin Tee Eff See...
I be creepin' in da shadows like mawfawkin' Ninja...
Puttin' all kinds ov bullet holes all up in yah.
So think about it next time when yah step to me...
Cuz talkin smack, will only get yo ass Capped...
I.... Grabs my guns and start to cock it.
But little do you know, I gotz a Rocket In My Pocket.
And da junx on my Shoulda' Like my name wuz RamaDon.
Then I'll Char Char your ass like you was Pokemon... Fool
I chose You...now you ass is dead...
I stole yo backpack and kicked yo head.
One Shot. One Kill. Datz how I reprezent...
Watchin' all you fools tryin to guard da prezident....
My boy, da DemoMan got yo whole crew bumpin...
While my Snipah'z DOT got yo punk-ass jumpin...
Think about it next time when yah step to me...
Cuz I'm Da Dennis Da Menance to Society..
Stabbin fools in back watch em instantly die.
Posin as da spy... like my name was Golden Eye.
Thinkin' it was a teammate but naw it was me..
You punkass Medic passin' STDz...
You made da dummy move and just screwed up..
Caught in da blast when yo sentry blew up...
Now you a dead man and yo sentry all broken
you gonna make another one?... You must think I'm Jokin...
Cuz I be hopin and scopin.to blow yo brains wide open...
A Medic rushes in and gives my whole squad Aidz...
But not me... cuz I'm a medic myself...
And I heal them silently like my name was Stealth...
So now you feel tricky tryin' to be da spy...
But you jacked up commin out da other side
Dressed all in uniform like you was one of my guys.
Your cunning attempt to trick me, just failed thee...
You have no tekneeq...you just another casualty...
You needz to peep planetfotress and brush up dem skillz
"Yo my alias and binds don't work... whats da deal?"
You Silly Rabbit...... Yea I'm talkin to you...
Ever heard bout dis thing called F A Q?
Think about it next time when yah step to me...
Cuz im da Big Dawg ...and you just a Flea...
The Value of Demon Kind
by: MMaster, 01-08-00
I'm a stinkin' demo,
the kind despised by all,
I chuck my mighty mirv grenades,
blindly down the halls.
I'll toss'em in your respawn room,
when given half a chance,
I love the scream of helpless players,
as my mirv makes 'em dance.
Lest you think that's all there is,
let me say it plain,
I've got a load of pipe bombs too,
and they'll also cause you pain.
I just don't care what hell I bring,
nor what carnage I may reap,
I'm happy whether friend or foe blow up
as long as kills come cheap.
This lousy reputation,
is what my kind have earned,
never mind the good deeds done,
we are always spurned.
In truth this angers me,
cuz the creator gave the tools,
misunderstood by most everyone,
they're the bane of fools.
I'm told they're needin' help right now,
to defend against attack,
so off I go, to help defend,
and hold them bastards back.
Laid me down a mine field,
and found a spot to wait,
attack us now, you lousy jerks,
and let's find out your fate.
I'm standing here on flag room D,
and much to my dismay,
a scout, a soldier and a medic,
are comin' fast this way,
Smart they were for comin'
in that pack o' three,
but dumb they were for thinkin'
that they could equal me.
Primed one mirv and let it fly,
and two of them went down,
but the scout, he somehow made it through,
and me he ran around,
But I couldn't shoot him in the back,
nor hope to give him chase,
he too fast, and I too slow,
but I hope I'll see his face!
I'm waitin' now, for my cue,
there! our flag's been taken,
but he forgot my pipebomb trap,
and now my sides are shakin'.
Tears roll down my cheeks,
from that laughter that I figure,
he could hear inside the flag room,
as i pulled the trigger.
And so it went for quite some time,
they just kept attackin'
but pipes and mirvs greet them all,
the bodies start a stackin'.
Finally they give it up,
and I go to attack,
and don't you know the havoc wreaked,
when I brought that damn flag back.
At day's end it was damn close,
a single score between.
I didn't win the day alone,
but I helped out my whole team.
I was ne'er so proud as when,
this was said to me,
"them Demons put the D in Defense,"
My heart was filled with glee.
Another then chimed in,
and another right behind,
it seems they finally understood,
the Value of Demon Kind.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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